In my life, why do I

smile, to people who I would much rather kick in the eye

I want to...but.....i want to...but....
Literally me right now and my workout-ing

New Year New Books!
Memoirs to Read Through in 2016

1. A Heartbreaking work of staggering genius - Dave Eggers
2. Without You, There is no Us - Suki Kim
3. January 1st - Michael Scholfield
4. The Dining Bell and the Butterfly (Jean - Dominique Bauby, Jeremy Leggatt)
5. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes - Caitlin Doughty
6. Working Stiff: Two years, 262 Bodies, and the Making of a Medical Examiner - Judy Melinek, T.J. Mitchell
7a) Leaving the hallway lights on - Madeline Sharples (no library copy fyi)
7b) Pyongyang: A Journey in North Korea
8. How Reading Changed My Life - Anna Quindlen
9. As You WIsh - Cary Elwes
10. Prozac Nation - Elizabeth Wurtzel
11. Notes from a Small Island - Bill Bryson
12. Down Under - Bill Bryson
13. Diary of a Mad Fat Girl - Stephanie McAfee
14. The Year we Disappeared - Cindy Bushby, John Bushby

Reading Goals for 2016

1. Read at least one memoir per month
2. Read all of Matthew Quick books
3. Read more of Bill Bryson books
4. Read/attempt Neil Gaiman books
5. Re-read Harry Potter books
6. Read at least 3 plays
7. Read all of John Green books
8. Re-read the Macdonald Hall series
9. Re-read the Keys of the Kingdom series
10. Read at least 50% of my TBR's
11. Read Jonathan Stange and Mr Norell - Susanna Clarke
12. Read/attempt Under the Dome - Stephen King

Read 111 Books this year

Book debate
I have completeed my goal of reading a 100 books this year and since then I have also read two more i
A) keep adding to my 2015 challege
b) cheat a little by adding them towards my 2016 challenge....

Anyways in other news. I have successfully not used hair spray in 17 days! World record person right here! And you know what I've learned? It's possible! I shall update more once im not on the desk

I am who I am
I am who I am because of the choices I made yesterday. -Eleanor Roosevelt

This year has definitely been a year of ups and downs. But you know what? I made it through it pretty well and I'm getting myself back on track with taking care of myself and that is the most important thing :)


Book Challenge for 2015/100 - Part 3
Finished 101/100!
Here's the last of it for the year. Ended up binging on unfortunate events rather than the other books I had planned.

Book Challenge for 2015/100
better ure arms
Note: I am still missing four books 96/100.
Will update this post in a week or so, no worries

Turning the pages
Secrets are revealed in stages
Nestled amongst the  turns and folds
Tantalizing spices spread through the threshold
What once was a mystery
is now nothing more than a memory
of something that was and still is for each one.
Tags: ,

December Questions Part 3
better ure arms
- Lights and Decorations

December Questions Part 2
- Ways I've changed this year:

  • There are too many things this year that I've done that have changed me for the better and maybe a little for the worst.

  • I finally sought help for how crappy I've been feeling/treating myself for years.

  • moving out has allowed me to be more true with myself. being in a place that i can be however i want to be has let me to at least be more honest with myself

  • i've gone from a page to a psa...only took nine years but now that i am here it's all so sweet :)

  • going to the gym and that hasnt been a cause for adding to my anxiety! Indeed...I actually look forward to going!

  • there's a few more things to add here but I think I'll expand upon this in a later entry as there is a lot more to be said.

​- Books that remind me of winter:

  • Harry Potter series because christmases in the wizarding worlds sound divine. Also I wouldn't mind getting a knitted Molly Weasley sweater as a gift and chocolate frogs

​- Authors you want to read more of:

  • Definitely want to work on reading more of Matthew Quick Novels. Next Up: Forgive me, Leonard Peacock

  • Nick Hornby: I want to give him a shot. I enjoyed A long way down and since then I've picked up a bunch more of his books. Next Up: Slam

  • Jasper Fforde: I've read the first two books of the Thursday Next Series. Eyre Affair my old sla, Celine, told me to read it and I finally did it. And LOVED it. So I want to finish that series and also the Last Dragonslayer series as well. So that's what's up and I don't feel like writing all the titles down.

  • Those are the three that I can think of from the top of my head at the moment.

​- Your first childhood presents:

  • I don't remember much from the early years...but from the ones that I do remember...

  • Those flexible spiky headbands like this one

  • The second harry potter book

  • Hamster!!!

- Best gift you've ever recieved:

  • Toss up between the three I listed above ^.

- Favourite holiday movies

  • Christmas Story

  • Home Alones 1-3

- Funiest holiday memory

  • not sure if I have one tbh...perhaps it's when my mom, sister and I got matching pj sets. Sister bought for mom and mom bought for sister and I.

- Fictional Characters you want to cuddle:

  • Now I'm going to change cuddle to hug because hypothetically if these characters were real it would get a little without further ado favourite characters I would want to hug:

  • Charlie from perks of being a wallflower and patrick while we're at it

  • Percy from Percy Jackson and the olympian series

  • Sunny Baudelaire from Series of Unfortunate events

  • ron weasley from harry potter

  • pippin and merry from lord of the rings

  • Four from Divergent

  • that's all who i can think of at the moment

- A time you made a snow angel:

  • a couple of years bacj my nieces and i made a bunch of snow angels together :)

- Last minute shopping list:

  • NONE!

- It's the thought that counts

  • leaving little surprises and notes for Matthew whether it's in his bag or pockets. A little reminder that I am thinking about him. Always.

- Words that make you feel Merry

  • christmas tree

  • warm

  • celebrate

- Three holiday wishes:

  • That i keep working to better myself and to find happiness at last; or at least something close to it

  • That Matt gets what he's been working hard for these past couple of years. I hope it comes to fruition.

  • That Molly learns to stop driving me nuts with her meowing and shenanigans LOL

- Do you believe in Santa Claus?

  • Even though I know he's not real but that doesn't mean I still don't believe in him either.

- Family traditions:

  • not wise the only thing i would say is that each year someone plays the role of handing out the gifts under the tree...but i'm sure that's what every other family does. This year my nieces are doing that.

- What do you like to do on a snow day?

  • usually binge watch a bunch of episodes of a tv show and read, read, read.

- What'd you do differently next year?

  • relaxing more

  • reading better not just for the book count...

  • making my hair healthier and fuller again

- Write and encouraging letter to yourself?

  • This letter is brought to you by the letter T. T is for try. Never stop trying to reach for the things that you want. But at the same time it's important to give yourself a break. Remember that just because you relapse or had a bad day or whatever negative thing happened, remember that does not mean it's the end of the world. Shit happens and that's alright. Also if you're reading this next year and you haven't used hair spray pretty much the whole year through, I'm pretty dang proud of you!

- Have you grown as a writer?

  • I used to write  better and more consistantly. I used to try an attempt writing poems. But self- doubt crumbled that down to the ground. Now, I write mainly more in point form ....if this entry didn't indicate that to you. I'm trying to regain that writing spirit i had, hence answering these questions....

- Your personal goals for the new year:

  • i wrote out a list of resolutions already in a different post so I guess just go back a couple of entries and find those yourself :)


I believe in Santa Claus - December questions Part 1
-   Number of Journal Pages Filled: Approximately 3000 hand written journal pages…
-  Favorite things about December:
          o   The first snowfall
          o Skating
          o   Seeing your breath
          o   Getting cozy indoors and reading
          o   Hot apple ciders
          o   Christmas
          o   Fruit candy canes
          o   Decorating the Christmas tree
          o   Our funny family photos
          o   Having the whole family over
-    Cozy places to write and read:
          o   At my desk with something hot and music playing faintly
          o   Reading on my bed or couch
          o   Enjoying my commute reading at the bus stop or train
-    Red and Green Journal Pages:
          o   Don’t think I  have any like this I have journal covers that have those colors in them but not just specifically that color. My new                          York central park journal has beautiful illustrations of the city that never sleeps
-    Favourite thing about the cold weather:
          o   Walking through the first snowfall of the year
-    Five things to be jolly about:
          o   Pets
          o   Books
          o   Family
          o   Christmas
          o   New year
-    List of favourite holiday songs:
          o   The Boney M Christmas album
          o   Dolly Parton and Kenny rogers album (when decorating tree)


Log in